I
marked the spot
Two
friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One
day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend,
"Mark this spot so that we can come back here again
tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the
same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?"
His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of
the boat."
The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get
that same boat today!?!?"
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Fish cost a fortune
Two
Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the
equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the
rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they
spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch
anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on
the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the
last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy
turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one
lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't
catch any more!"
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Catching the fish
Jim
had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing
sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home,
he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He
told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw
them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the black bass."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if
you came by, I should tell you to take black bass. She
prefers that for supper tonight."
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Flying in the plane
Two
hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for kudu
hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and
bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to
pick them up. They started loading their gear into the
plane, including the six kudu's. But the pilot objected and
he said, "The plane can only take four o; you will have to
leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before
they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all
aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity.
Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six
aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the
valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed
into the bush.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other,
"Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is
about 100meters short of where we crashed last year!"
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Hunting with a wife
A
hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his
home. Inside the hunter's trophy room was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went
hunting with my wife in the Timbavati"
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife."
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Go on a hiking trip
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and
hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the
sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day
tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."
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